Ottawa (continued)

Skating on the Rideau canal as a kid

I was 9 years old, the first time I ever skated on the canal.

I distinctly remember being smuggled to Aulde Dubliner after hours.

I thought beavertails were silly and plain! It's just sugar on top of dough.
What's so special about that? Well, as it turns out, everything.

I long to have tea at the Chateau Laurier with the older women in my life

Like any other spoiled high school kid, I had prom at the Chateau.

The limo, the fake Eiffel Tower, the first hotel I ever rented, all self-entitlement...

I felt like a princess.

Sundays at the Notre Dame Cathedral

My most vivid memory of my late Mama are in church. When I was a little girl, she used to take the host from her mouth and give me a small nibble up until I got my first communion. I still remember closing my eyes during sermon and then occassionally looking up at the stars painted on the ceiling of this church while I laid my head on her arm. It was always perfect. Her soft jacket. The priest's voice. I brought my boyfriend here to light a candle for her, secretly introducing them. I thought it would freak him out but when I told him later on, he seemed touched. We need to do odd things sometimes to keep people alive in our hearts.

Iskotew Lodge

Even if you're an Ottawa native, you've probably never heard of Iskotew Lodge; it's a hidden treasure inside a government building. It's a wellness lodge by way of the Aboriginals filled with books and covered in sage. Upon the insistence of a very special person, I made a spiritual appointment with a visiting Elder from Mission, BC named Gwen Therrien, also known as Grandmother Malihatkwa. It was rarer for women to go to the lodge and represent themselves as healers so I was thrilled. Awkward in my sari, I soon warmed up to her stories about nonchalant bears who'd merrily pass her by while she identified natural medicine in trees within the same patch of the forest.

The first thing I noticed when Grandmother got closer were her eyelashes, perfect as a doll's. She was teaching us about smudging. She smacked her back with pine branches till all the dew was gone. She made grunts. She cleansed her space. Two people re-enacted this, but I was anxious about doing the same. I'd never done anything like that before! She gave me a candle and told me to let light flow over my hands as if I were about to wash my body. She pointed at my neck, my cheeks, where she saw old tears. It felt so natural to wash myself with this light. Now, I do it every day before I write or meditate.

I'd never believed in healers before. We used to drive far out to Christian camps when my mom was a cancer patient to see all sorts of faith healers and I felt so depressed about them. But with Mali, I just felt so at ease. She worked on my heart chakra, wrapping my torso with green and pink energy, gently pressing my abdomen, my chest, my neck, my ears, my forehead and crown. The energy was wild! I felt it move through me. Then she told me to let out a huge cry as she pulled my leg. And yea, for the skeptics, it was a literal pull.

The best part of this adventure was the vision she had for me. It was a vision of a Madonna, offering me a bowl filled with infinite love. So every time I am in any form of pain, I think about this experience.

Ottawa Shambhala Meditation Centre
I don't know remember why I started taking meditation classes. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done. My mind whirs with useless information. I went on a Sunday walking meditation and I noticed eight singing bowls filled with water on the offering table. As they shook with each footstep, I instantly remembered my spiritual needs. I spent the whole two hours thinking about a courses I wanted to take in college, or trying to block out scenes from a documentary I saw a million years ago. So, I figured what I needed was an aid and I therefore bought a book (it's what I do best)

I was pleasantly suprised to read that each bowl is meant to embody a different offering for the senses: perhaps water for drinking, flowers to look at, incense and perfume to smell, light for comfort, food, music, something beautiful to touch. She described that it's as if you were asked to become a host to a good king. Maybe you'd offer an intoxicating drink, warm bathing water or a bouquet of flowers; you'd prepare a full feast in candlelight, a full massage in precious oils and lovely music. It's almost seductive.

Since the lodge, I have had a penchant for these bowls. I went to a Sri Chinmoy concert at the Freiman Recital Hall, Ottawa U. There was a performance with singing bowls, the flute and percussions. I had the most ridiculous meditation session of my life! There was also a moment I experienced my consciousness as part of a nesting doll, except infinite and never ever getting smaller.

Sunnyside Book Shop

I am a fan of the esoteric. I get my palms read by a loveable French hippie. I spend full moons with friends doing tarot readings and making astrological birth charts. I hang out with modern-day witches in dorm rooms. I like the idea of sychronicity and I am serious about fortune cookies. I record my dreams. I think the universe is wicked and is constantly sending us signs. This unassuming bookstore caught my eye. It's been my secret spot for tantric sex positions, for soothing designs of mandalas, even for everyday recipes. The owner is a very sweet, bewitching old man who winks at my purchases. I think he may be retiring soon. :(

Catching up on university readings on the O-Train

Ottawa Locks - lots of sentimental value

Rockcliffe homes in Ottawa